How to cultivate the right network from zero for your start-up venture or business - a 2 step process
Jim Rohn "We're the average of the five people we spend the most time with".
The above statement is one that should resonate with people when they're trying to cultivate the right mindset. In the past I have spent time around people and communities where I have shared my thoughts and only been subjected to negativity or doubt. It's time to move on to something bigger and better and don't let yourself or others pull you back. This is your starting point and things will only get better from here.
In this article I will lay bare the tools you can use, starting from zero to empower yourself to take your next step and create your own community that will support, empower and improve your mindset so that you can achieve the lifestyle you want.
Step 1: Removing fear and doubt - Get better at being you and allow people to appreciate it
I've had numerous ideas that I thought would be achievements and shared these with numerous people for them to either laugh, chide or rebuke what I am saying. What I would've preferred, if they had helped me refine those ideas constructively.
We don't have the resources to put up with crappy relationships; they use two of our most valuable resources time and attention, which as soon as it is spent you can't get back. The first may be non-renewable while the second, attention can be insidious in the wrong hands if they're negative people they will demoralise any positive thoughts of your own but it will have a continuous effect on your own self-talk long after the conversation has finished.
The first step to creating a better mindset is surrounding oneself in better company. The reason for the change may be because you're frustrated, stuck or not fulfilled but you will need some support along this road. Test your friends in your life and share this idea or change of lifestyle with the five people you consider to be your closest friends.
There will be three typical responses:
1. "Okay, I like what you're trying to do! Talk me through how you're going to do it and can I help?"
2 ."Cool, looking forward to seeing how that goes!"
3. "That's stupid, you shouldn't be doing that. It won't work, don't waste your time."
You can see these answers rank in terms of positivity and constructiveness through to mundane and negativity. If your supposed friends give you an answer that looks like number 3 (unless your idea is actually terrible in which case they need to mention that), then it is time to ship them off to Antarctica. These are people who are often upset in their own life and want to bring everyone else down with them, don't let that be you too.
I can imagine though you're afraid to figure out how to remove the number 3 type of person I know I was. They are the ones who are most likely to spit at the thought of being ditched. Try this response when they're accosting you for your time.
When confronted in a face to face meeting or phone call: "Hey John, I would love to stay and chat but I've got (X,Y,Z) if you need me desperately please send me an email or text message as I'm really flat out at the moment."
If they message you reply a week later to slowly let go of these people. They will most likely respond to this with two types of actions; being offended you've brushed them off for so long and be pissed or ask to make a time to meet with you face to face. If they're responding in the former then you know your assumptions about their personality have been proven correct.
If when you meet them they're carrying the same persona, get rid of them ASAP. They may ask why you've been absent and you will have a hard face to face about the reality of their personality, this is the tough part; tell it to them straight and if they react horribly you were right not to have them in your friend circle. If they say "Yes I need to improve" then set boundaries for how you interact with that person. You're now either gained a friend who will be grateful for helping them improve themselves or you've got rid of dead weight.
Step 2: Getting better friends and finding the right motivation - networking the right way
Now that you've removed the nay-sayers you will need to start focusing on the groups that will increase your positivity and refine your thinking. We will now look at finding the right communities using social media and increasing your networking abilities.
You've got your ideal lifestyle and idea envisioned, but you need the right people around you too, ideally with experience and networks to help flesh-out your goals. Enter Facebook. Just over one-third of the world uses Facebook and there are some incredibly powerful communities on here to empower your goals and feedback in the right way. Here is how to select the right community:
Type the name of the idea you're after into google followed by the words "groups on Facebook" you will get a ton of blogs, articles and groups to select from! How do you know which groups to go for?
I use the following criteria to decide on which communities to join:
Now that you're a part of a community it is time to give back to others. When helping other people you create value for your own name but you also create respect. I find that a good rule of thumb; you have to help others and actively contribute in order to get the same! I like to think of it as a 2:1 ratio — help twice, ask once.
You will get a feel for some of the problems that your idea may come across and you can now begin to make contacts with other people throughout the world who are ambitious, self-motivated and willing to share. Help someone on these forums and ask for their friendship on Facebook and begin a working relationship by introducing yourself over chat. You can share your own idea and gain valuable and credible feedback from those who are doing what you might be attempting to do too.
At this point, you will be able to ask these people for advice and get them to help you refine your goals. Here are some of the questions that I suggest will aid you in your pursuit of a better mindset when connecting and collaborating:
Humans love helping each other, it gives people the chance to share their knowledge and help improve the lives of others. The people who aren't following these type of trends shouldn't be a part of your community. If your network and thoughts grow so does your ability to learn and expand.
Always remember your success is something that is defined by you, not others. So allow other people to help you on your way to finding a better place and give back to them as I always find the most rewarding relationships are the ones where both parties succeed.
Tools and best practices
Find the book: How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie